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The GOD Blog

GOD is my life. . .written by kathryn


If I had to sum up my life...I would have to say GOD is MY LIFE.  From a very young age I always heard GOD talk to me.  GOD was my best friend. I was born in the very small but incredibly amazing town of King City California.  My birth name was Kathryn Daddy called me "Katrina" and then because I was tiny, they nicknamed me "Tina." I grew up as Tina,  My mom said I was talking full sentences at 8 months old and I never crawled, I scooted like a Monkey. Then from there I stood up and walked. I didn't believe her until she showed me in a video scooting across the floor at 2 years old like a frickin Monkey!

My Daddy had to leave when I was 2 1/2 (the age that elites like to take you, because it caused Trauma Based mind control,) in a brazen circumstance that y'all will read about in the book of my life which I am almost done with.  I was the youngest of six children.  I loved to dance, sing, and entertain.  If you came to our house I would do a show for you for 2 hours straight, and entertain you.  At six Mom had me take dance lessons.  I study tap, jazz and ballet for years and absolutely loved it. Performing in little big town productions.


We were Catholic growing up.  I went to Catechism and I learned about GOD, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.  I said my prayers day and night.  We went to church all dressed up.  The  Catholic services where in latin in those days.   I was a good girl.  I wanted to be loved by everyone.  I was Mommies darling, and the teacher's pet of just about every teacher I ever had.  I needed to be the center of everyone's attention.

Being the youngest of six children with a single mother, who had to go on welfare and get food stamps after Dad left for Mexico, I learned to speak up and fight for myself and how to talk and listen to GOD to help me.  After Daddy left we were poor.  I had to wear hand me downs from all the neighbors.  We would shop at the Economy Market in Greenfield and not have enough food stamps to pay for all our food, but the owners of the market would give us all the food in Mom's basket anyway. GOD bless them!  I was too young to realize the scandal that our family was going through at the time.  I was oblivious to it.  I just danced and sung and talked to GOD.  I loved my hand me downs.  To me we weren't poor.  We were "The Mighty Merkles, the most popular house to be at in the sixties.  Our house was grand central station there on 6th street.  It was the sixties, marijuana, let's make love not WAR having a "love in" was all the rage.  We were smack dab in the middle of it!  It was all about SEX and DRUGS and TV.  Once TV hit I would watch all those beautiful actresses and decided that I was going to be one!  My favorite of Course was Marilyn Monroe...and I decided that I was gonna be  a big star like Marilyn Monroe someday. Yeah!

Whenever my brothers or sisters would be mean to me or tease me.  Which was a lot.  My brother Richard would call me ugly.  It horrified me!  I would go talk to GOD and pray to GOD...please let me grow up and be beautiful not ugly.  I prayed all the time as a child and talked to GOD.  I believed in Jesus Christ, and I felt the Holy Spirit.   GOD had given me great discernment.  I prayed for protection and GODS blessings...and boy did he bless us!

My parents got divorced when I was six, and my mom married a very wealthy farmer named Elmer and we moved to a big ranch in King City.  Overnight we went from being poor to being one of the richest families in  King City California.  We had a big ranch and my step father who had worked his whole life retired and wanted to have fun.  We got a motor home and a boat.  We traveled all over the United states.  We went everywhere.  We had fun, fun, and so much fun! At the same time, we stopped going to church, and I prayed a little but not as much as I used to.  It was the seventies and Sex, Rock and Roll and Marijuana abounded.

I was a dancer in the famed Pauline Hall dance studio (Now the Monteray Dance Company) and danced in tons of productions.  I was a cheerleader and pom pom girl and popular at King City high.  WE WERE the original that Seventies show!  Yep! I had two high school sweethearts that I loved immensely.  I was popular and happy.  I got everything I wanted.  BUT...I forgot about  GOD and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. 

When I graduated, in 1980 at eighteen...I left for Hollywood  in my Red MG Miget.  I was gonna be a big Hollywood star like Marilyn Monroe!  I had read every book on Marilyn, and every other big star, big politician, big famous wealthy person.  Heck ...I read a book a week and did that for years. I arrived in Hollywood the same time as Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Tommy Lee (Motley Crue) and George Clooney... and even got asked out on a date by George and Tommy.) I became Miss Santa Monica.  I met Andrea Caldwell , an Actress, and Jerry Buss who was the Los Angeles Lakers owner, and the judge of the Miss Santa Monica contest and he was dating Andrea, and Johnny Rockwell the original actor playing "Super Boy."  I dated Johnny Rockwell, "Super boy" and was the ultimate Hollywood Starlit being chaeffured around Hollywood in Jerry Busses stretch limo eating at 5 star restaurants like the infamous "Chasen's."  It was the eighties and Madonna, and Micheal Jackson, and Prince ruled the air waves. . . and in my mind, I was gonna rule too!

I enrolled at the Vincent Chase Acting class and studied acting along side with Vanna White,(Wheel of fortune) Playmate of the year Monique St. Pierre, and Michael Biehn (Terminator and Alien) .Andrea (Jerry Busses mistress)  became my best friend. We ruled Hollywood, as we would say! ... and we would go to all the popular clubs like Viola and Carlos and Charlies.  Prince saw us at Carlos and Charlies one night and told us we were the most beautiful girls in the club, and invited us to go into his studio and watch him record and sing.  I still pinch myself thinking back that we got a personal and private concert with the legend Prince.

We hung out at the Playboy Mansion.  Hugh Hefner even asked me to pose for Playboy.  I was way to shy for that.  But in Hollywood everyone thought I was pretty and beautiful.  For a girl that thought she was ugly, well Hollywood didn't think so. I got a lot of small parts in B movies, and lived the life of a Hollywood Starlit in the eighties.  I dated celebrities, the biggest Hollywood elite producers, Princes and even Kings of Countries.  I flew in Jet planes, and sailed in big gigantic yaughts, where Princes of Countries would give me real diamond necklaces. For a poor girl from a small town, this was unbelievable to me.  I ended up making millions of dollars over those years, and spending millions of dollars over those year in Hollywood.  One thing is for sure...I had fun!...I had struggles...but I was gonna be a SUPERSTAR!!

Ironically, at the same time, the voice of GOD was trying to call me back to him, but I turned away from Jesus entirely.  I was a self proclaimed Heretic.   I started studying with Guru's and Masters, and each and every World Religion.  I wanted to be powerful and beautiful and a Kath-RYN/Mari-LYN superstar.  I never turned away from GOD.  GOD is always there!  GOD would always tell me that I would come back to Jesus and the Bible.  I would say, "No GOD...I do not want Jesus.  I turned as far away from Jesus as I could.  Stating Jesus is not my savior.  I constantly read  books, and would go to different religions and study with them learning their philosophies and doctrines.  My questions was, how did other religions honor GOD and what did they believe.  Not only did I want to be biggest star in the world, I wanted to be the MOST POWERFUL WOMAN in the world!  Needless to say without the protection of Jesus and GOD's Protection... what I didn't realize... was I was being demonized, sexualized, and MK Ultra'd big time.  My trauma base mind control was on high...but I was just beginning to conquer Hollywood.


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